22 Jun, 2021 05:27 PM

What is your take on this quote? Does our politeness prove our gentility of the spirit?

I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word - politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit. Fran Lebowitz Update: I appreciate your answer CP, but what I am refering to...is a tonal value of the person, which indeed reflects the gentleness of the spirit... there are just certain sounds that are very real and true... our spirits do hear these and can distinguish... the sounds... i am speaking of are galaxies away from the shorelines of deceit... so this is the kind of thing i wish to address here... if possible ... and CP I love your quick mind for it is so very sharp and full of great discernment. ...Show more Update 2: The Sweetness of the Spirit is changed... into one which resonates all that is good, recogniton is possible. Our presence changes, this is part of transforming grace.. creating in us anewness. So yes politeness of heart is shared, known and recognized.. there is a gentleness of spirit that goes beyond understanding. Update 3: should be a small s for spirit.. when it is ours... Update 4: thereso ... I am speaking of having a spiritual composure... that discerns vast distances beyond flattering words, this concerns our transformation... inside the heart chalice...which pours from the well springs of life...

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22 Jun, 2021 05:27 PM

Some people go through their days with social politeness that can fool all but the eyes and ears and heart of Spirit.  There is nothing in a gentle pure heart that allows for harming others.  There is no mask. In order to bring about an unconditionally kind and loving demeanor we have to lay aside our goals for self promotion and external power.

"I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word - politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit."

Fran Lebowitz

Yes :)  This quote resonates in my heart deeply.  Just the other day I was telling a friend that I feel a strengthening yearning for gentleness...of myself...a vulnerability.  A politeness of the heart (not to be confuse with an egoic identity of politeness...that is a mask) is cultivated by careful gardening.  It is by choosing to follow the kind, gentle whispers of the heart (voice of Spirit), getting in touch with the love there.  Then we treat ourselves lovingly and all others lovingly and with compassion, gentleness and true politeness of the heart.

"thereso ... I am speaking of having a spiritual composure... that discerns vast distances beyond flattering words, this concerns our transformation... inside the heart chalice...which pours from the well springs of life..." beautiful words...they resonate deeply and so perfectly in my heart.  

This type of connection to divine courtesy takes a willingness to choose to align ourselves with the harmlessness of Spirit.  It takes pure intentions.  We all long to be back in our Father's arms/heaven/divine love/home/source (whatever name one chooses) and I feel in my heart this is the path we must take--gentleness, unconditional courtesy, harmlessness, lack of self promotion and naked honesty....LOVE.

Discernment....yes, it is like our heart and spirit can recognize and fall immediately in love and recognition, a divine remembrance, of all others.  We recognize the divine inspiration in other's words in our own hearts.  We hear it gladly!  Sometimes my eyes tear up, and I always feel a warmth in my heart when I hear these words...of truth and love.  When we are seeing from the eyes and ears and hearts of spirit we cannot be led astray.  We can see straight through the smooth talk of deception and empty words of self promotion.

22 Jun, 2021 05:28 PM

Wouldn't politeness of spirit be part of our love towards our fellow man which God strongly commends.  I personally prefer to talk to a person who places honesty above politeness.  Some of my best friends have certainly told me things no polite person would stoop to say and I have been blessed by this honesty. 

When I counsel people I say things quite regularly that no one else will tell them.  This is usually why they have unreconciled challenges in their lives.  Their friends and family will not hold them accountable.

I do try to do it in a loving way but I don't let politeness control enlightenment.  I admit to being a little rough around the edges at times.  Im not proud of it, I just have a need to cut through the fuzzy stuff to reality.  

Do you ever listen to Jesus words and wonder if He is not doing the same thing.  Some of His statements seem to me to approach rudeness.  A lot of this I tie to translation and cultural challenges but some I also tie to directness and honesty.  

The fact remains that God is love and if we love Him we will love others like He does and this love will show through in everything we say and do.  Love is so much more then tonal qualities.  .

22 Jun, 2021 05:28 PM

The quote certainly makes a point but seems to be void of balance, which is so needed - you see, some of the world's moth ruthless people have used guise to snare their victims, like bank robber Willie Sutton 


Bible, 2 Corinthians 11

5 For I suppose I was not a whit behind the very chiefest apostles. 

6 But though I be rude in speech, yet not in knowledge; but we have been thoroughly made manifest among you in all things.

rude in speech ... get it? 

11 Wherefore? because I love you not? God knoweth. 

12 But what I do, that I will do, that I may cut off occasion from them which desire occasion; that wherein they glory, they may be found even as we. 

13 For such are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into the apostles of Christ. 

14 And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light. 

15 Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also be transformed as the ministers of righteousness; whose end shall be according to their works.

I can't think of one single prophet that was a "sweet talker", most told it the way it was and were hated by the hypocritical "love birds" because of their terse manner. So really it's not always all so much about how the message is delivered as contrasted to what the message really is, John knew this on Patmos.

Even serial child murderer John Gacy posed as a laughable, lovable clown


There are a lot of wicked people out there according to the Bible and many will use charm and cunning, because of their increased deviance.

God's message is about the whole story: Good, Bad and Ugly and seems to me if one is just going to bring the sugar and ignore the possible consequences that are clearly speed out, they will one day come down pretty darn hard off that sugar high. An over flattering tongue is pride, which comes before the fall. 

Don't get me wrong kindness is a good thing, but according to Gods words, flattery is dispicable

Romans 16:18

For such men are slaves, not of our Lord Christ but of their own appetites; and by their smooth and flattering speech they deceive the hearts of the unsuspecting.


1 Thessalonians 2:5

For we never came with flattering speech, as you know, nor with a pretext for greed-- God is witness-

Jude 1:16

These are grumblers, finding fault, following after their own lusts; they speak arrogantly, flattering people for the sake of gaining an advantage.

22 Jun, 2021 05:28 PM

Politeness, in the true sense of the word, is not only displaying manners externally, it is also respecting the another's circumstances, so as to enhance them personally, in all ways you can. It involves deference and respect and true, impartial love.

22 Jun, 2021 05:29 PM

you are correct

there is no void of balance here

when the above quotes paul writing to the church in corinth

thats different

you are speaking of how we should be treating others


paul was speaking to the church

bringing some of them to reproach

which needed to be done

sometimes in doing this

one cant always be polite and diplomatic

because theyre supposed to know better

theyre supposed to be trying to live above reproach

22 Jun, 2021 05:29 PM

Politeness can be learned,it can be fake also  but generosity of spirit oozes from inside.

22 Jun, 2021 05:29 PM

not at all... i've known many a lawyer who can stripe the flesh from someone's bones with the utmost civility....