24 Jun, 2021 05:24 PM

Why does my 18 year old son...?

study so hard and is very intelligent but yet does not get really high grades? He's constantly stressed and overwhelmed with all the work that he has to get done!!!Yet he still does not get that many As. Update: guaranteed no drugs involved.

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24 Jun, 2021 05:24 PM

I think you answered your own question. Stress and feeling overwhelmed are major drawbacks of studying and succeeding. Have him relax and enjoy life. Exercise, have fun, eat well, sleep lots. His grades will pick up guaranteed.

24 Jun, 2021 05:25 PM

Alright... sometimes people study hard and are very intelligent yet it doesn't show on their grade report. Why? Possible reasons...

1. drugs

2. depress

3. relationship problems

First you, as a mom should encourage him to do his best and support him regardless if he does not get A's or not.but not be annoying because when I was young, my dad always tells me the same thing over and over. "get good grades so you can get a higher education and make more money". blah blah blah.it gets seriously annoying and I get frustrated. I already know and yet he sometimes keep telling me this. I,

1. get good grades

2. don't do drugs

3. have a healthy life

Buy him gifts: clothes, games, new things at the mall so he can be happy. Happy = Better at school. DO NOT SPOIL HIM THOUGH. Offer these gifts as an incentive or something. School is easy as long as he studies. B's aren't bad grades either but not as good as A's. I mean as long as your son is living a good life with above average grades, he will become a successful man. Hope this helps you. :)

24 Jun, 2021 05:25 PM

Well he's obviously putting in the effort, so maybe the material is simply too difficult for him.  If you can afford a tutor, it might be worth the money.  Otherwise, they may offer student tutors at his school for free.  Having a tutor might be the extra push he needs to achieve high grades.  If he studies as hard as you say, the personal attention could be the factor that rounds out his success.

Or maybe he could use an adjustment in his course schedule.  If he's taking particularly difficult courses, he might be more successful replacing one or two with some on a level he is more comfortable with.

If he's stressed and overwhelmed, he might just be mentally exhausted.  Ask him if he is comfortable with his class schedule, or if he could use a break.  If extra-curricular activities take up a lot of his time, take that in to consideration as well.  He might need more time to relax.  If he needs to manage his time better, help him do that and I bet you'll see an improvement in his grades.

24 Jun, 2021 05:25 PM

He may be an extremely Intelligent person but he is not book smart. He most likely has great common sense and knows how to deal with situations and apply himself but when it comes to memorizing or learning theoretical things he has trouble. Either that or he has a hard time studying maybe try helping him develop new studying habits =D

24 Jun, 2021 05:26 PM

i can speak from my own experience: i suck at tests. 

tests are stress inducing. if you are already maxed out before you even sit down, you are more likely to do poorly. 

your mind is not on what you know, but is focused on worries and doubts, regrets about what you should have done differently, expectations of failure and shame. this is distracting and interferes with concentration. plus, if your memory is so cluttered with these thoughts, how can you be expected to remember what you actually know? or express it if all your mental resources are being used to fight with yourself? 

the "overwhelmed" part also hits home: maybe the problems are related. he may be studying hard, but not studying "smart." by that i mean there may be a learning style that suits him better, and he just needs to find it. 

one thing my girlfriend and i do when we're feeling overwhelmed is pick it apart to each other. take some time to sit down and really break the stressed feeling down. talk about everything ... how you feel physically, what you are thinking .... see if you can find chains of thought pattern -- for example, i thought this, and it made me feel that, and when i felt that it made me think of the another thing, and then i thought about that ... and so on. by doing this, you can see how thought patterns get out of control, and work to intercept them before they do. 

looking for better or different study habits might help, too. everyone has a different learning style. Google "study habits" or similar and look for different things to try. 

another good habit is breaking down huge tasks into lots of little ones -- and then maybe taking a picture of each thing as it's done, or keeping a journal of the process, like you were going to show someone else how to do it. sounds dorky, but by tackling each little thing and having a visible trail of the process, as well as being able to see things progress from nothing to a done project will help detach your mind from the hugeness of the whole thing as well as making you feel better be being able to see things actually are getting done. 

take a little break between each thing. 

time management may also be an issue. talk about ways time and energy could be managed better. there are some things you can see coming from a mile away, and some things catch you broadside. but if you have your ducks in a row on the predictable stuff, you will have more time and brainspace to put out fires and get back on the path. 

there are a million ways to go about looking for a better. no one is more "right" ... the right one is the one that works best. but the three keys are time management, study habits, and working through stress. as you get better at any one of these, the other ones will sort of come into play naturally. 

hope this helps!

24 Jun, 2021 05:26 PM

He's probably like me. I'm very intelligent, which causes me to get great test scores regardless of whether or not I do homework, study, etc. He isn't challenged enough because of his intelligence. Try to get him involved in physical activity, it works wonders. He probably doesn't care much about school. I'm smarter than anyone I know, but that doesn't matter since I don't want to sit and work in an office everyday.

Also, if you got divorced when he was young that probably messed him up a bit, no offense.