27 Jun, 2021 06:10 PM

Both of my daughters are shy, well one is worse than the other, do you think homeschooling would help or hurt?

Kids can be so mean in school and I think that makes it hard. I want to homeschool but I work full time during the day, but I think going to a public school could maybe help them with there shyness, where homeschooling might make it worse, or the other way around. Does anyone have any advice?

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MA
27 Jun, 2021 06:10 PM

I know you love your kids and want to protect them, but school is a great place to learn how to be social and interact with others.

The only homeschooled kids I know were incredibly social too, but it took a lot of effort on both the parent's and kid's part. They were involved in community sports leagues (soccer), swing dancing groups, music lessons / performance, and really involved in the community (youth councils and stuff like that). They were also extremely religious. But they were cool kids, and they seemed to like their lives a lot, but they were already pretty confident (even if they were a little shy).

I know that I was shy when I was little but would've HATED to be homeschooled. I would've felt like a social outcast! Ask them what they want, then go from there.

CH
27 Jun, 2021 06:11 PM

If it's SAD sometimes that can be hard... if they are just entering school for the first time (as in, preschool or grade K) you may be able to try it and see how it goes. If they have a serious issue with it maybe depending on how much work there is their watcher can help, or if there isn't much it can be done when you get home (the home schooling) Some people might say if they don't it will hurt them learning "rules" and what not, but it isn't as if the WORLD is in school, and they can interact with other people elsewhere. Homeschoolers have friends too. So I don't think if it comes down to it, homeschooling would be so bad. (Also, if you have family near enough, those kids count too! It would be sad if the social and real world was actually nothing but school)



FI
27 Jun, 2021 06:11 PM

From what I can see, you seem to have only garnered one pro-homeschooling response. I expected the answers to be skewed, but I think the emphasis in your answer on "shyness" especially biased the respondents. I wonder what the responses would have been if you had focused on academics instead. Considering that the average 13 year old homeschooler could probably whip 80% of public school seniors on the SAT, I think the results would have been different.

Is this about education or socialization? In either case, I implore you to homeschool. And whatever you do, DO NOT send them to a public school. They are significantly worse than virtually all private schools (although, I am still not a fan of formal education in general, whether public or private). Public schools are wretched institutions more similar to prisons than to anything else in the real world (it's no wonder so many of their alumni end up there). No other places on earth are so devoid of curiosity and creative, independent energy.

The phony "they won't have a social life!!" argument is always used by anti-homeschoolers. If by "social life" you mean they will not be exposed to the cesspool that is the current American teenage subculture, then yes. I guess they will miss out on the unbelievable cruelty, superficiality, and anti-intellectualism of average public school society. O gee, poor them! Merciless bullying and exclusive cliques are rampant. For example, a practice that is all the rage in schools across America at the moment is "ball tapping." And no, it does not have to do with gym class. It entails students randomly striking each other in the testicles. People of America, your future leaders!! Thankfully this was not in vogue when I was in high school, ( I graduated in 2006) but I witnessed many horrid acts that students inflicted on one another. Not to mention the constant, unrelenting barrage of verbal bullying that goes on.

Again, when you consider the academic side, it is not even close. Public schools do not merely suck at educating, they actively de-educate. Much of the history textbooks are government worshiping propaganda. I would strongly suggest that you google John Taylor Gatto, a former award winning New York schoolteacher who has written extensively on the true nature of modern schooling.



JU
27 Jun, 2021 06:11 PM

I don't have time for the lengthy answer I would like to give. I'm about to help my daughter pack for her week away at Girl Scout Camp.  The people telling you that public school is the answer know nothing about homeschooling. All I can tell you is that I was a very shy child and school only made it worse. I developed an ulcer by the time I was in Jr. High. My daughter has been homeschooled her entire life. She is the most happy and confident child I know. She has many friends of every age and ethnicity.

Homeschooling is what you make it. Sometimes it requires making what some people consider to be a sacrifice, such as living on a lower income. I consider it to be a privilege and a blessing to have this chance to be with my daughter and share this once in a lifetime opportunity of seeing her grow into an exceptional young woman.






XA
27 Jun, 2021 06:11 PM

The simple answer to your question is that it is impossible to answer.  Neither sending your daughters to public school nor homeschooling is going to in itself make them less shy.  Some children become shy adults, others outgrow it as they get older.  My advice is to make the decision that you feel is best for your family.  But either way you should provide them with opportunities to do things they enjoy and interact with people of similar interests, but don't push it because you don't want to remain shy due to being forced.

As far as the whole, "They Won't Be Socialized If You Home School Argument", being put forth by those who are ignorant to homeschooling or simply buy into the stereotypes; study after study has been done which has shown homeschooled children are just as socialized as their counterpart in government run/private/or parochial schools.  In many cases they have far more opportunities to socialize with people of all ages and backgrounds.  If you stop and think about it, the government run school system is unnatural.  Where else in life are you grouped together with people of the exact same age and same background, allowing that some children will be held back and others will move in and out as parents move out of the school district, for 180 days per year over a period of 13 years.  Further broken into groups of roughly 25-30 who are kept in enclosed classrooms with little contact with the "outside" world where such things as conversation are frowned upon.  Sometimes I think the police officers/security guards/fences/and metal detectors aren't there to just keep people out.

And as an aside, for those people who are always so concerned about the lack of socialization as a result of a homeschooling I have a question, is the ONLY place you socialize at all in school?  Because if that is the case, which it does appear to be from many of these comments, it is not the homeschoolers who are living a sheltered life.